As I write this, a commercial for e-harmony is playing on the television, which makes me incredibly sad. People don’t try anymore . . . to make connections, except via “digital networking”. I like facebook and blogs as much as the next person. They help me keep track of my friends’ daily lives, especially when I don’t have the opportunity to see everyone as much as I would like. What I do not like is facebooking, texting, whatever in lieu of real social interactions. Digital networking should supplement real-world networking, not replace it.
My problem with internet “dating” is that it doesn’t supplement real-world dating; it serves as a poor substitute. I’m a single lady. I know how difficult it can be to meet good people, but it only has to be really really right once. Right? Right.
There have been numerous psychological and physiological studies on human attraction and mating. We have a multitude of evolutionary cues that let us know when we’ve met someone that would be good genetic match: smell, looks, flirting, rhythm, eye dilation, etc. - none of which are going to be on someone’s e-harmony profile. And . . . because we are such highly evolved creatures, it takes seconds to assess compatibility and feel an instant physiological attraction. They call it “chemistry”.
I for one live and die (romantically speaking) by chemistry. Clearly, I’m not the poster child for making great relationship decisions. But I have never been wrong about chemistry. I have never been in a relationship that lacked passion. I’ve always believed in love at first sight. It’s not that there is some magical meeting of soul mates thing. But if you let yourself be open, when you meet someone special, you just know. It just feels right. Not to say you really fall in love, but there’s a connection there. There’s a physiological response every time you see that person.
My concern is that if people are wrapped up in reading profiles and searching for their one, they might miss out on something better . . .
What are you like in the dark? When the day has come and gone, and you are alone with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company . . . do you find comfort? Or are you haunted by the space between the person you are and the person you wish you could be? Is it all a farce? Are you just playing the part that has been written for you? Will you just do it all again tomorrow? Go through the motions; be nice enough, polite enough. . . But is it enough?
The past 3 or so weeks have been slightly hectic. Three weeks ago, I had my last Finance midterm. Two weeks ago, I had my Marketing final. Last week, I had a big Marketing presentation. Yesterday, I had an Operations Management paper and presentation due. Tomorrow, my Marketing paper is due. It all seems manageable, but everything had to be done by last Monday because Friday, I had to leave for Wildflower. Add work-work to the mix, and you have a recipe for disaster/comedy/tragedy (depending on your POV). Oh . . . and I volunteered to be responsible for all of the food for the trip. “Sleep” and “down-time” have become somewhat scarce. In the end though, it was all worth it . . . because wildflower was freak’n AWESOME! Lake San Antonio was absolutely gorgeous. It reminded me of everything that made me fall in love with Camp Stevens and Santa Cruz. Here’s the shakedown:
Day 1:
I dropped Murphy off with my dad in C-bad. Then I met up with my ride for 8 hours of road trip fun. I seriously laughed the whole way. Along the way we stopped at the world’s smallest and scariest In n’ Out. We were just north of LA and somewhat starving. Let’s just say that it was the type of neighborhood in which every window had bars. It was both delicious and frightening.
We arrived at the campsite around 4ish. We unloaded and I prepped dinner (pasta salad and rice krispy treats). It was a little rainy and the long-coarsers were prepping for the next day’s race. So we stayed mostly in the RV and had a mellow night.
Day 2:
I made coffee and breakfast for the crew. The long-coasrsers headed down for their race. Robin, Corinne, and I hung back for awhile and enjoyed the beautiful spring morning. Late morning, we got our stuff together and headed down to the transition area so I could register and Corinne could get an AVIVA visor. After I got my race packet, we learned that the visors were being passed out at the main gate of the camp site, which was a good 2 -3 mile hike away. We didn’t have anything better to do so off we went on the VisorQuest 2009. We stopped a bit on the way to spectate, but eventually made it down to the gate, only to learn that they stopped passing out visors the day before. Sadness . . .
We made our way back to camp, ate some lunch, and headed back down to the finish area to watch for our friends. Corinne headed over to the AVIVA tent to ask if they had any more visors. Alas, none were to be found. Double Sadness. Then the clouds parted and a miracle occurred. As we were watching racers cross the finish line, the MC began tossing visors to the loudest cheerers. Ahem . . . I am many things, but demure and quiet I emphatically ain’t. I scored a visor, which I of course gave to Corinne. Mission Accomplished!
After we watched Brian finish the race, the rest of us headed up to camp for hamburgers and strawberry shortcake . . . and copious amounts of alcohol. We were all about fun and fancy free . . . until my coach told me I had to finish my swim in under 29 minutes. WTF? I don’t respond well to external pressure. I don’t set specific goals for myself. My goals are always about finishing whatever task or project I decide to embark upon. I don’t set quantitative objectives . . . because they stress me out. So all night and all the next morning, all I could think about was those 29 minutes.
Day 3:
We wake up, get ready, and Corinne and I head down to the start. I had a bit of a headache from the night before, but a diet Dr. Pepper did the trick. I lined up for my wave to start. The nice thing about doing a relay is that you can go full throttle. The not so nice thing is that everyone else is going full throttle. Also the swim start is full of strong swimmers, both men and women. I had trouble finding my breath, which happens to me in cold water, but I found my pace rather quickly. The swim out took forever, but the swim back was over before I knew it. The entire time I was thinking about those 29 minutes. I did it in 27 and change.
After I handed off my chip to Corinne, I realized that I had forgotten clothes. I had worn over my speedo down to the race area, but by the time I had gotten out of the water, it was almost noon and WAY to warm for sweats. I threw on the free t-shirt that had come in my race packet and headed up to camp. I changed, did a little homework, prepped some adult beverages for the girls, and headed back down to watch Robin finish.
The rest of the day and night consisted of drinking, fajitas, wandering from campsite to campsite, and making friends with the Oregon State Triathlon Team. In other words . . . lots of adventures and plenty of good times. I can’t wait for next year!
You taste like ice cream
In summer
On a sweltering
Afternoon
Creamily cool, and
Sticky Sweet
Melting in my mouth
Lingering
But I'm impatient
and greedy
It's too much, too fast,
but so good
Until the brain-freeze
Takes over
My head throbs and aches
From the Cold
I have:
- a Finance midterm tomorrow
- a Marketing final next week
- a Marketing project due the following week
- an Operations Management paper due the week after that (but it really needs to be done by next week because it's a group paper)
then finals . . .
I want my mommy. Oh yes . . . and I'm working 32 hours per week . . . and training for Vineman, a half-ironman distance triathlon (for details feel free to visit my website). On the bright side, I haven't been bored in at least 2 years. I'm not complaining. I totally did this to myself. No one made me take on all of these very time-consuming commitments. The truth is that I am happiest when I have a lot of balls in the air. I'm just a little overwhelmed at the moment.
Summer can't come soon enough . . . le sigh
He said he was coming
So I got going
And I took my time
I ran and ran
Like my feet were on fire
So they would match my heart
He wasn't supposed to be there
In my apartment
In my life
But he knew the way
To sneak in through the back
It was my fault for showing him
In the dark, warm night
He waited impatiently
For my return
He told me once
An addict will wait forever
Is that what you've become?
I kind of live under the general assumption that everyone is as into music as I am and that it isn’t discussed ad nauseam because a) everyone has their own preferences and b) it can be intensely personal . . . just like sex. I am starting to learn that this is not always the case. I love music. I always have it playing. I pay for satellite radio because it’s worth it to me to have access to good music and exposure to new artists. I pay extra to have satellite radio for the same reasons that you pay for cable. I’ve tried Pandora and other radio sites. I used to really love radioparadise, but it’s not the same.
I have access roughly 100 stations, each specializing in a different genre. I can listen anywhere in the world from my car or laptop . . . and the music is CD quality. In short satellite radio has both greater depth and broader range than any other single source of music. Last week when they started charging extra for internet access, I rebelled. I wasn’t going to start paying an extra $3 for the luxury of listening to the satellite radio - that I already pay for – from the comfort of my computer. I got on Pandora, set up a rock’n indie/alt/pop rock station, and patiently waited for a dance party to ensue. Instead . . . I began to dry heave and the tremors started. Withdrawl is a bitch.
First of all, if I wanted to listen to songs that I’ve already heard a dozen times before . . . I would listen to my iPod. Second, just because I like a Death Cab for Cutie song doesn’t mean that I want to listen to down tempo music for three hours. This tryst with Pandora made me realize just how dependent I am on my satellite radio. I work from home on my laptop. I study from home on my laptop. We’re talking about 60 hours on my laptop. When I do the math it’s only 5 cents an hour to have good, interesting, and fresh music on my laptop whenever I want it. If loving my XM is wrong . . . I don’t wanna be right.
Here’s what I’m listening to right now:
Hold Time - M. WardMetric - Fantasies
St. Vincent - Actor
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's Blitz!
Coconut Records - Davy
Puscifer - The Mission
Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele - Good Feeling Music of Dent May
She & Him - Volume One
Deerhunter - Microcastle/Weird Era Continued
Franz Ferdinand - Tonight:Franz Ferdinand
